Turfin' Safari

We left Nairobi for a three-night camping safari through Kenya - it's a great lineup of trekking and watching large predators from a somewhat-armored, open-roofed, safari cruiser.

We're traveling with four other tourists - an Argentinian couple, a Brazilian airline pilot, and a friendly Australian girl - an adventurous and enthusiastic bunch.

The guide and staff are another animal altogether - our "guide" for the four-day excursion is "Winston." You know that feeling you get with some people - the "this guy is trying to screw me over big-time" feeling? Well, you'd get that feeling talking to Winston.

Some contextual information:
Most Eastern African excursions operate based on two payments - the advance, corporate payment, and the sizable cash-only local payment. The later is used for entry fees, foodstuffs, and other such on-the-spot expenses included in the itinerary.

Well, Winston is trying to skirt all said on-the-spot payments or discourage us from participating in several included activities. We [our band of tourists] are persistent in demanding our share. Cough it up, Winston! And so, our trip:


Hell's Gate National Park

Our first day is Hell's Gate - named for its steaming hot springs and tortuous gorges.

The terrain above the gorge is a boxed red-rock canyon with herds of zebras, warthogs, and gazelles running along the dirt roads. We spent the majority of the ride with our torsos through the sunroofs, just as everybody dreams of doing in their prom limousines.

The Hell's Gate gorge took an hour to traverse - canyoning down rocky streams, shuffling through obsidian gravel, and using the sandstone ravine walls as fingerholds for climbing. We wore flip-flops (Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!) but we made it down to the boiling springs without injury or snakebite (black mambas are indigenous to the area).

Winston apologized for some of the confusion over our dinner campfire. We're still skeptical.


Masai Mara - Northern Serengeti

We drove several hours of plains to the Masai Mara - the ride there was scattered with gazelles, zebras, and gnus, so by the time we arrived we were already a bit jaded. We were ready to see some big game and some carnivores.

The reserve is so expansive - thousands of acres, and that doesn't even include the Tanzanian side. Here's a recap of some of the more interesting sightings:

• A family of giraffes running across the plains



• A herd of twenty elephants walking single-file through a valley



• A male and female lion sleeping (in the "spooning" position)



• Several hippos (actually the deadliest animal in Africa, by the numbers) bathing and singing in a pond



• A leopard high in a tree with the remains of a most unfortunate gazelle



• A massive eagle dive-bombing and making quick prey of a smaller bird

All-in-all, a very productive day of observation. We'd rather see it all on our feet (rather than on wheels), but we'd quickly become prey ourselves and it's hard to cover enough ground - after the next full day of safari, we'd be ready to get back on our legs.


Masai Village

We left camp early and headed to a Masai tribe village for a quick glance at their ceremonial dancing, traditional architecture, and cultural traditions.

We witnessed two dances - male and female - both of which entailed call-and-answer singing, and both of which are performed at circumcisions (yes, both male and female circumcision). The most impressive feat was the standing vertical jumps the males used in their dance.

The village huts are constructed from sticks, straw, and cow manure - they're expected to stand for about five years until the next tribal migration. We'll probably build a similar establishment in the middle of Lincoln Park in Chicago to inhabit during the residency/Ph. D. years.

Trevor, can we rel on your civil engineering signature to certify its structural soundness? (You'll have to check the books for the cow manure load-bearing coefficients.)


Lake Nakuru National Park

We spent the afternoon game-watching at Lake Nakuru, a famous living and breeding grounds for the white rhinoceros. We saw our fill of rhinos, but even more impressive were the pink flamingos on the lake itself. On the horizon, between the dark lake and the green hills is a thick band of solid pink - more pink than even Lisa Baldwin can comprehend.

We also saw our fill of baboons - so many that they're considered menaces at the lakefront. So, as far as baboons go, we're done for now. If you have some baboons waiting for us in the states, sell 'em back. We're through with the 'boons for now, but we deeply appreciate the gesture.


Safari Afterthoughts

We're happy that we went on safari and we're delighted with the multitude and density of wildlife we saw. However, we now know that safaris are passive activities - sunroof gazing, picture-taking, and (if you're lucky enough to get an enthusiastic, informed guide) listening to a wildlife lesson or two. There's another brand of safari out there - the trekking safari - where it's just you and a rifle-bearing guide stomping through the wild. It's more expensive, but it may have suited us better.

As the saying goes, "a satisfied customer tells one person, a dissatisfied customer tells four" - so readers (at least four of you) take note:

Do not use Nomad Tours (the company based in South Africa) for East African excursions. The itineraries are unrealistic, the guides are dishonest and unprofessional, and they do a poor job of allocating our payment fees. Other firms, such as Gap Adventures, provide better service for a similar fee. Hope this appears in search results so other people can be happier on their excursions.

So, having climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro and seen the predators of the Northern Serengeti, we believe (as per Steve's question) that we now understand Toto's 80's-riffic single entitled "Africa". We'd love to share our understanding, but you really have to come here and see it for yourself.

Until then, (to make an acute cinema allusion) you can listen to Toto, but you can't hear Toto. Let's leave it at that, Steve.

Also, happy belated birthdays to Kristin and Jenny!

We leave for Dubai tonight - we'll catch up with you all then, and we hope to have more frequent computer access.