Turfin' Safari

We left Nairobi for a three-night camping safari through Kenya - it's a great lineup of trekking and watching large predators from a somewhat-armored, open-roofed, safari cruiser.

We're traveling with four other tourists - an Argentinian couple, a Brazilian airline pilot, and a friendly Australian girl - an adventurous and enthusiastic bunch.

The guide and staff are another animal altogether - our "guide" for the four-day excursion is "Winston." You know that feeling you get with some people - the "this guy is trying to screw me over big-time" feeling? Well, you'd get that feeling talking to Winston.

Some contextual information:
Most Eastern African excursions operate based on two payments - the advance, corporate payment, and the sizable cash-only local payment. The later is used for entry fees, foodstuffs, and other such on-the-spot expenses included in the itinerary.

Well, Winston is trying to skirt all said on-the-spot payments or discourage us from participating in several included activities. We [our band of tourists] are persistent in demanding our share. Cough it up, Winston! And so, our trip:


Hell's Gate National Park

Our first day is Hell's Gate - named for its steaming hot springs and tortuous gorges.

The terrain above the gorge is a boxed red-rock canyon with herds of zebras, warthogs, and gazelles running along the dirt roads. We spent the majority of the ride with our torsos through the sunroofs, just as everybody dreams of doing in their prom limousines.

The Hell's Gate gorge took an hour to traverse - canyoning down rocky streams, shuffling through obsidian gravel, and using the sandstone ravine walls as fingerholds for climbing. We wore flip-flops (Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!) but we made it down to the boiling springs without injury or snakebite (black mambas are indigenous to the area).

Winston apologized for some of the confusion over our dinner campfire. We're still skeptical.


Masai Mara - Northern Serengeti

We drove several hours of plains to the Masai Mara - the ride there was scattered with gazelles, zebras, and gnus, so by the time we arrived we were already a bit jaded. We were ready to see some big game and some carnivores.

The reserve is so expansive - thousands of acres, and that doesn't even include the Tanzanian side. Here's a recap of some of the more interesting sightings:

• A family of giraffes running across the plains



• A herd of twenty elephants walking single-file through a valley



• A male and female lion sleeping (in the "spooning" position)



• Several hippos (actually the deadliest animal in Africa, by the numbers) bathing and singing in a pond



• A leopard high in a tree with the remains of a most unfortunate gazelle



• A massive eagle dive-bombing and making quick prey of a smaller bird

All-in-all, a very productive day of observation. We'd rather see it all on our feet (rather than on wheels), but we'd quickly become prey ourselves and it's hard to cover enough ground - after the next full day of safari, we'd be ready to get back on our legs.


Masai Village

We left camp early and headed to a Masai tribe village for a quick glance at their ceremonial dancing, traditional architecture, and cultural traditions.

We witnessed two dances - male and female - both of which entailed call-and-answer singing, and both of which are performed at circumcisions (yes, both male and female circumcision). The most impressive feat was the standing vertical jumps the males used in their dance.

The village huts are constructed from sticks, straw, and cow manure - they're expected to stand for about five years until the next tribal migration. We'll probably build a similar establishment in the middle of Lincoln Park in Chicago to inhabit during the residency/Ph. D. years.

Trevor, can we rel on your civil engineering signature to certify its structural soundness? (You'll have to check the books for the cow manure load-bearing coefficients.)


Lake Nakuru National Park

We spent the afternoon game-watching at Lake Nakuru, a famous living and breeding grounds for the white rhinoceros. We saw our fill of rhinos, but even more impressive were the pink flamingos on the lake itself. On the horizon, between the dark lake and the green hills is a thick band of solid pink - more pink than even Lisa Baldwin can comprehend.

We also saw our fill of baboons - so many that they're considered menaces at the lakefront. So, as far as baboons go, we're done for now. If you have some baboons waiting for us in the states, sell 'em back. We're through with the 'boons for now, but we deeply appreciate the gesture.


Safari Afterthoughts

We're happy that we went on safari and we're delighted with the multitude and density of wildlife we saw. However, we now know that safaris are passive activities - sunroof gazing, picture-taking, and (if you're lucky enough to get an enthusiastic, informed guide) listening to a wildlife lesson or two. There's another brand of safari out there - the trekking safari - where it's just you and a rifle-bearing guide stomping through the wild. It's more expensive, but it may have suited us better.

As the saying goes, "a satisfied customer tells one person, a dissatisfied customer tells four" - so readers (at least four of you) take note:

Do not use Nomad Tours (the company based in South Africa) for East African excursions. The itineraries are unrealistic, the guides are dishonest and unprofessional, and they do a poor job of allocating our payment fees. Other firms, such as Gap Adventures, provide better service for a similar fee. Hope this appears in search results so other people can be happier on their excursions.

So, having climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro and seen the predators of the Northern Serengeti, we believe (as per Steve's question) that we now understand Toto's 80's-riffic single entitled "Africa". We'd love to share our understanding, but you really have to come here and see it for yourself.

Until then, (to make an acute cinema allusion) you can listen to Toto, but you can't hear Toto. Let's leave it at that, Steve.

Also, happy belated birthdays to Kristin and Jenny!

We leave for Dubai tonight - we'll catch up with you all then, and we hope to have more frequent computer access.

Kilimanjaro

(Don't skip to the end - to keep the suspense and stuff!)


Nairobi, Kenya

Nairobi is the largest city in Kenya, if not the largest city in Eastern Africa. All tourist literature we've read suggest that it's not a premier tourist destination; and the USA government websites we've visited give it a 5/5 for crime... and 5 is bad. he only other 5 we could find is Baghdad. In the words of "Airplane": it's worse than Detroit.

Our hotel suggests not leaving the premises with jewelry or valuables, and strongly recommends to "take special care" between 18:00 an 06:00.

So why are we here? Good question. Our Kilimanjaro trek an safari both depart from this city, from the very hotel we're patronizing. So... room service and card games it is!


Moshi, Tanzania

After several hours on buses (listening to some friends' mixes, TV on the Radio, and Steven Wright stand-up) we crossed the Tanzanian border and arrived in the town of Moshi, via Arusha. The trip would have been faster, but our bus stopped several times for cattle stampedes crossing the dirt road, and for border patrol passport checks.

We spent the night at a hotel near the base of Kilimanjaro, where we met our guide, received our briefing, and rented additional equipment (sleeping bags, hiking poles).

At the loge, we made two friends: Czar, an RN from Southern California, and Charlie, an accountant from Canada. Czar signed up for a different Kilimanjaro route (his afforded him an extra day) and Charlie will climb with us an share our guide.

Our guide is "Johnnie" - a young man from a Mozambique tribe with a calm countenance and a winning smile. We'll set off in the morning; our group consists of three tourists and several attendants (guide, cook, and porters to carry the food and some of our spare clothing).


Ascent Day 1: to Mandara (2750m alt.)

Today we hiked about five hours uphill, mostly through rainforest terrain on a clay path - the weather permitted us to wear shorts and t-shirts.

The porters and cook set off ahead of us, carrying most of the supplies in tarps balanced on their heads.

We paused or jaunt only for carb-heavy snack breaks and to learn about indigenous flowers.

Oh yes. We also paused to gaze at the ants. Big ants. Big ants crawling into our socks, leaving itching welts on our ankles. Each of us sustained tens of bites on both feet; however, walking subtly scratched our bites, which yielded a satisfying motivation to climb faster.

Also present on the hike was the Tanzanian flag bandanna we purchased at the mountain base. the wearer is granted the wisdom of Tanzania's greatest national park. Plus, it makes you look like Rambo - or perhaps, "Tanzaniambo."


Ascent Day 2: to Horombo (3750m alt.)

Godliza, our cook, boiled seven liters of water for the two of us to carry on our backs for the day's hike - Johnnie suggests that we drink the entire quantity within the day to prevent dehydration.

Today we wore rain pants and fleeces; the weather looked ominous initially, then the clouds broke an we were left with a chilly-yet-sunny day... and third-degree sunburn.

By 10:00 we left rainforest terrain an entered "Moorland" altitude - short, coarse, bushes with "hot poker" flowers and weedy grass. No more monkeys, unfortunately - just lizards and huge birds that threatened to snatch our lunch. Nobody messes with lunch.

We hiked 200m altitude past our sleeping point before returning for dinner - overshooting your altitude is just what the doctor ordered for healthy acclimation. Climb high, sleep low, yo.


Ascent Day 3: to Kibo (4703m alt)

We slept well - better than we could have asked. Yet, that didn't make the day any less tasking.

We donned our fleece pants, long underwear tops, winter hats, ski mittens, and balaclavas (the facial windguard, not the tasty Mediterranean dessert). We didn't want to add windburn to our growing list of ailments.

By nine this morning, the Moorlands disappeared and we trekked across an expansive alpine desert. For the most part, no foliage can survive here, and the fauna disappeared as well. The wind tears across the dusty ground - and it's not warm.

The itinerary for the rest of our climb is daunting, at best. Here's what's on the platter:

• 4:30PM: Dinner
• 5:00PM: Sleep for the "night"
• 11:30PM: Wake up, eat "breakfast," and begin the hike to the summit, so we get there and back before the sun melts the frozen gravel an the path gets slippery.
• 3:00PM (next day): Arrive at our encampment downhill for the night.

That's right - 15 consecutive hours of altitude-defying, joint-burning, lung-gurgling, hiking.

Stretch out on a couch for us.

Day 4: Catching the Night Train to Uhuru (5895m alt.)

"Ridin' the night train - never coming doooooown!"

- Guns 'N Roses, Appetite for Destruction - "Night Train"

...So that's similar to our nighttime summit - except that "going down" is on the itinerary. Also dissimilar, GNR uses a train as a metaphor for their hard-living, "loaded" lifestyle - and we're climbing an African mountain.

Anyway, note that yesterday we expected to sleep from 5-11:3PM. Nay. One million times nay. Not a wink of sleep - mainly due to other tourists in our miniature barracks speaking inconsiderate German, Swahili, and French (the anxiety probably had something to do with it as well).

O' pity us, fair reader! Fifteen hours of subzero summit-hiking on no sleep!

Okay, enough with the excuses - here's now it went down:

• 11:40 PM: Begin tedious zig-zag "switchback" hike up Kibo volcano with headlamps, three layers of pants, three layers of jackets, hats, balaclavas, ski mittens, an two layers of heavy-duty socks.
• 11:50 PM: "Hey, this isn't so bad"
• 1:00 AM: "Why am I traversing the loose gravel of this desolate lunar landscape in the dark, foot after numb foot? I paid for this? I'm a moron."
• 4:40 AM: Arrive at "Gillman's Point" (5861m alt.), where many people end their climb. It's situated on the rim of the volcano, so it's a great place to do a high-five an start your trek back down. However, if you're more daring (or perhaps, more "dangling") you can continue to Uhuru Peak, the topmost point on Kilimanjaro and all of Africa - "Africa's Ceiling."
• 5:00 AM: Depart westward for Uhuru, treading through the snow on the rim of the volcano's crater - this is all before sunrise, so only the snow is visible.
• 6:00 AM: Altitude sickness (cerebral edema) further closes its icy grasp. Begin frequent anti-nausea breathing breaks.
• 6:20 AM: The three of us made it! We pose by the official Uhuru Peak sign for a quick snapshot. Excited by the fulfillment of our longtime goal, we sigh relief and start back Eastward.
• 6:30 AM: Sunrise. We're able to discern our surroundings, and are imbued with newfound energy. We run through the icy slopes of the volcanic rim and are captured by the expansiveness of the glaciers on the rim and crater of the volcano, and by the landscape of clouds below. We repeatedly risk frostbiting our fingers by snapping photos of the scenery. Our guide suggests climbing down before the sun melts the icy rim into a hazardous terrain.
• 7:00 AM: Look down at the newly-lit, steep, zig-zag path we traversed in darkness for five hours up the volcano. Cue ominous music.
• 7:10 AM: Learn "shortcut" technique of surfing down the gravel in our boots. Much more fun, and much faster.
• 8:00 AM: Arrive back at Kibo encampment. Brief meal and relaxation.
  
• 10:00 AM-4:00 PM: Trek down to our final encampment. Soak our feet, hallucinate from exhaustion and sleep deprivation. Good times.
  

Hopefully, a good night's sleep will cure nausea, headache, delirium, third-degree sunburn, and fire-ant welts. Well, we can hope.

Kilimanjaro Afterthoughts

Time well-spent. And not just the mountainside experience - the training, too (thanks for letting us use your skyrise, Jen).

It was great to have Charlie with us on our trek. He resolved early-on to avoid decisions and just concentrate on "putting one foot in front of the other" and enjoying the scenery. "Resolute indecisiveness" would be the most fitting oxymoron. He also maintained the most reasonable and constant pace, which abides by the Swahili saying "pole pole" (pronounced "polay-polay"), for "slow-slow". Charlie, if you're reading this, it was great having you mountainside.

We're currently at our Moshi, Tanzania hotel - at the pool sampling some local lagers. Our feet have nowhere else to take us right now, which is nice - because we can ask of them no more favors.