Transylvania

After Bucharest, we were a bit concerned that we may not escape the Romanian techno dance music and leggings (no offense, Kristin) on our trip through historic Transylvania. When our train arrived in Brasov, however, we were pleasantly surprised.

Transylvania has sustained many of its gothic basilicas, hilltop monastaries, citadel walls, and clock towers through centuries of war with the Ottomans, two world wars, the changing of hands from Hungary to Romania, and an unfortunate Communist regime. Most impressive, however, are the mountainside castles, which are (inconveniently for us) spread out along the region, inaccessible by train.

We began in Brasov (Brah-shahv), the largest Transylvanian city. We were happy to find large, pedestrian-only boulevards, and a scenic overlook, accessible by furnicular. We climbed a steep and slippery path directly up the mountain; our plan was to take the furnicular back down after our harrowing, scenic climb. Alas, the furnicular was offline, so we took the same perilous path back down.

We spent the next two days in Sighisoara (See-ghee-shwara), the birthplace of Vlad Tepes, or Vlad the Impaler (Dracula). Around Vlad's old home and around the town are merchants peddling Dracula T-shirts, vampire coffee mugs, and other such historically irrelevant merchandise. Conversely, the government-owned sights themselves make minimal mention of Vlad, if at all, focusing instead on the quaintness of the medieval society. It's quite reasonable that the Romanian government doesn't want to wave a big Vlad Tepes banner, if you consider who the man is and exactly what he did...

Mr. Tepes was born in 1431, in Sighisoara. He quickly became a powerful warlord and earned the fear of Transylvania and its neighboring provinces by committing vile atrocities upon his prisoners of war, most frequently: impaling. Impaling entails lodging a person longways upon a metal pike, where they would painfully await death within minutes, or as long as two days. He held "mass impalings," sometimes around his cities or those of his enemies, presumably of over 10,000 people at once.

Atrocious or not, the man is a legend, so his house and his (alleged) castle in Bran (above, at left) are available to visit - just donàt expect much mention of Mr. Tepes on the placards of the government-owned property.

Sighisoara had a similar, quaint, atmosphere, with a massive medieval citadel, named the best-presetved medieval town. We visited Vlad's house in an effort to attend a historical tour - unfortunately, the government decided not to protect this landmark, and a somewhat cheesy restaurant "Casa Dracul" occupies the premises. We went ahead and did a beer thre, of course.

Also unfortunately, Sighisoara didnàt seem to want us to leave - early on our train back to Brasov, we realized we forgot a notebook in an Internet cafe, so we hopped off and retrieved our goods. We took it as a sign to dine there for supper, so we visited a Romanian pizzeria by the citadel and ordered some RED wine.

[Travel Tip: When pointing to a Romanian wine list and saying "Red?" they may nod enthusiastically, and bring you a blush.]

We went ahead and drank a pink wine in honor of Beth and Ryan's wedding.

We returned to the station to purchase tickets and catch the last train, only to find that the advertised prime-time train runs only on holidays! We weren't happy about forking over the extra dough on a taxi, but we made back the extra cash by placing second in the national Romanian couples' tag-team wrestling championship.

Just kidding. We placed first.

Bucuresti

In our research, the Romanian capitol of Bucharest isn't featured as a tourist spot, but we'd swiftly recommend it to you if you'd like to visit an affordable opera or if you're really into European techno "house" music (it's playing everywhere - bars, loudspeakers, government offices, every vehicle... everywhere).

Our brief Bucharest visit was a classic "first/only day in a new city" in our travel experience; we entertain the challenge of being parachuted into foreign territory, figuring out how to say "hello" and "thank you," procuring a map, and visiting the key monuments on foot, all before sustaining a worthwhile cultural experience that evening.

So, we caught an hour tour of the Romanian parliament building, the Casa Poporlulul, the world's second largest building by square footage behind the Pentagon, and built mainly between 1985 and 1989. Per our tour guide, "we finished ninety percent of the construction by 1989, then we executed our communist president," and, "there are sixty seats in this chamber - there were to be sixty-one, with a larger gold chair for the president, but we shot him, so what's the point?" He also voiced a lot of displeasure about the current Romanian government, especially for a parliament tour guide (you don't see us leading tours of the Cheney mansion).

We caught a spectacular view of Bucharest and the world's longest boulevard from the parliament's balcony, where the executed president was to address the public, but never did; instead, Michael Jackson was the first to stand and shout, "Hello Bucharest."

We scored some opera tickets on the way back to our room and hurriedly ate some delicious food we bought from the supermarket (read: devoured some fruit and crackers, and drank yogurt straight from the cup, for lack of a spoon).

After the opera performance, we felt substantiated in our cursory Bucharest visit, so we turned in and caught up on some of the sleep Anne and Steve stole from us in Istanbul. But now we've recharged, and we're on to Brasov, Sighisoara, and Bran (medieval Transylvania) to see some history.

More from the birthplace of Vlad Tepes (better known as "Vlad The Impaler," or "Son of Vlad Dracul," or simply "Dracula").

Istanbul: The Return

The four of us spent two more days in Istanbul before going our separate ways. One of these days was April 21st, 2007 - Sara's 26th birthday!

In our triumphant return to the Turkish metropolis, we made frequent stops at "nargile" bars, wrapped up our sightseeing, and spent much of the daylight in the sun, on foot, with baklava, honey figs, and ice cream cones in our hands.

On Sara's birthday eve, we visited the spice bazaar where shopowners peddled vials and grain bags labeled "Turkish Viagra" - if you walk by their booth they shout "my friend - five times in one night!" We then relaxed at a backgammon bar under the bridge of the Golden Horn and dined at a Taxim wine bar - we have Jane and David Gregerson to thank for a fantastic meal (including a molten chocolate cake, which we all shared).

Team Friedman spent the birthday morning jobbing a few miles down the Sea of Marmara and along the Golden Horn coast. For the official birthday evening, the four of us dined at Chan'ga, an uber-posh restaurant in the Taxim district, which featured some of the finest fusion cuisine we've ever tasted (they included a chocolate lime cake for the birthday girl).

Thanks to everybody who called to send their birthday wishes, and thanks again to Anne and Steve for schlepping along several presents across the pond (pssst: Kristin, I promise to change sweatshirts).

To Anne & Steve: Thanks for being so easily manipulated into traveling with us - we hope you had as great a week as we did. You can whirl our dervish anytime.

To Turkey: We had a great time with you, but we're not ready for an exclusive relationship. We'd like to see some other countries, but we certainly want to maintain a friendly relationship. It's complicated. We'll call you.

More in Romania!

Cappadocia: Have you seen this landscape?

We hadn't seen this landscape in film or printed media, or even heard of this region until we researched it. By the time the four of us caught our first panoramic view, we all wondered why neither pictures nor even the region's name had ever reached us.

The geological wonders of the region owese to volcanoes, basalt, pumice, the Red River, and erosion. Clearly, we're not the first people to be fascinated by it - well over six-hundred first-millennium vave chirches are carved into the volcanic ash, as well as a handful of 100m-deep underground cities, connected by 4km tunnels.

As a bit of an appetizer for the rest ofo ur stay, we started off with a 6 AM balloon flight. An amazing trip - we're still not sure if it's more breathtaking from above or below, amidst the massive monoliths. (This sounds stupid without a visual reference, but we'll post it when we can.)

We're staying in a cave hotel near the small towns of Urgup and Goereme. We hired a private guide for two days - Uzay Taner served as our historical expert and entertainment/cuisine advisor. In addition to fulfilling his guide duties, he shed a lot of light on the confusions we encountered traveling in other (fundamentalist) Islamic nations.

Our first cave sight was a massive underground city carved over four millenniums ago. Initially, it was used as a refuge from invading Hittites, then as Hittite refuge from invading "Sea People", and so-forth for Persians, Greeks, Romans, and Christians. The maze of tunnels and living quarters were constructed with integrated water and ventolation shafts, spearholes, trap doors, and massive sliding-disc barricade doors. It was like Goonies, but real - and arguably, cooler.

We drove along the silk road to several cave monastaries and a caravan palace (when trekking from Amsterdam to Asia, they'd travel in large caravans for protection and duck into these palaces after sunset). Some of the cave paintings were surprisingly well-preserved.

We also visited several craft centers and witnessed the craft (and the purchase) of Turkish ceramics, carpets, and onyx.

We sealed our Cappadocia experience with an evening of whirling Dervishes, folk dancing, and disqutheque dancing. Our seats were from t row for the performance, so all four of us were "volunteered" during the show.

Amidst the reenactment of a traditional wedding ceremony, several gentlemen were chosen to compete in a dance, and Steve won hands-down with push-up claps and some sophisticated breakdancing. Shortly after, they paraded him around with another woman (it wasn't Anne), and we think Steve may in fact be a married man in the eyes of Turkish law.

The other three of us were pulled onstage for the belly-dancing portion. We three danced with the belly-dancer, and we earned some decent applause - anybody taht didn't clap probably thought we were professional dancers planted in the crowd.

Yeah, we're that good.

We've a Date in Constantinople

(Photos pending - sorry!)

...and they're waiting in Istanbul.

Turkey is great to share with friends - in April as well as on Thanksgiving.

The cast of loveable characters for our Turkish segment has doubled to include our dear friends "Wee Little" Anne Gregerson and F. Stephen Griffiths. Since our rendezvous in Sultanahmet, Istanbul, we've been having our fun and doing our best not to see the interior of a Turkish prison.

We've been enjoying a healthy bit of cuisine and nightlife with our new company - in parts of Istanbul, being an American traveler bears an odd celebrity status; the restaurant wait staff is attentive to the point of badgering:

"Where do you live in America?"
"Well, we're all moving to Chicago."
"Wow, I have family in New Jersey!" (Pause, expecting a response or hug, as if our lives are now intimately intertwined.)
"Okay, great. Well, we love it here in Istanbul. We're here for four nights."
"You need more time!"

That's probably true - in our first full day in the city we visited the fifteenth-century Topkopi palace and Blue Mosque, then spent the entire afternoon in the Grand Bazaar; while we enjoyed the rapid-fire sightseeing, it's it's best digested with some more intersperced strolls/sprawls in the squares, Turkish coffee, and apple tea.

The palace illustrated some of the more bizarre aspects of Otoman culture - we snapped a photo (coming soon) of the gents posing in the "circumcision pavillion" which is adjacent to the harem balcony where they sultan's concubines and their eunuch guardsmen overlooked a pol of jester dwarves playing in small boats. Yeah, that about sums it up.

The bazaar may be the most eclectic, colorful, and at times confusing market we've seen. Shop attendants shout:

"My friend, where are you from?"
"Hello, can I please show you something?"
"Can I please have a minute of your time? Just a minute?"

Anne and Steve seemed a bit conflicted at times; as much as Anne desired, she clearly couldn't dignify them all with a polite "sorry, my good sir, but we're just window shopping. Perchance on our next pass through this corridor, we'll peruse your wares," so this amiable Minnesotan had to politely smile and nod instead.

One lucky shopowner sang a different song: "May I show you how to spend your money on things you don't need?"

Anne laughed and quickly purchased a bracelet.

We sat down for supper in the Taxim district and looked hungrily over the apertif tray - hot "pide" bread, battered shrimp, babaganoug, stuffed grape leaves, brains, green salad... wait, brains?!?

We met our match and have finally drawn the line. So let it be known...

We eat everthing above this line:


Everything but Brains
----------------------
Brains


We do not eat brains. We did, however, appreciate the seafood service policy: pay less for more meat. They achieve this by serving the fish intact - you filet it and pick the meat out yourself.

Anne and Steve made us a small "Chicago packet" of maps, with their Wrigleyville pad plotted for our apartment shopping reference. We're pretty sure they want us to live slocally so we can cook them dinner. But they'll probably order cable, so we have our reasons, too.

Up next: Cappadocia, Central Turkey.

Cretans Wıthout a Cause

(Photos pendıng... and sorry about the ı's - on a Turkısh keyboard.)

We left our hotel ın Chanıa yesterday evenıng ın search of some grılled octopus (we heard ıt's good here) and perhaps some Rakı (clear lıquor fermented from grapes). As fate would have ıt, we found so much more.

As we walked along the seasıde, we came upon a small market and saw some prospectıve olıvewood souvenırs ın the storefront, so we entered.

We nosed around for the better part of a mınute and started to walk out; we do thıs for hours down the streets - ıts our equıvalent of channel-surfıng whıle travelıng.

As we entered, the shopowner (a whıte-bearded Cretran) polıtely offered us a sample of the honey he harvested from the nearby mountaıns.

Why not, rıght? Here's why not: because ıt's so good that you need to buy ıt, and you'll purchase so much that ıt's a bıt heavy, and you may not have luggange space; and then, even ıf ıt fıts, ıt mıght not get past USA customs; and ıf ıt does, you'll start eatıng ıt wıth apples, then wıth other fruıts, then on a loaf of bread, then you'll need more and more untıl fınally ıt runs out, and you're usıng a spatula, then your hands to get the last drop of nectar, but your hand doesn't fıt ın the jar - a year later, you fınd yourself traffıckıng honey overseas and cırcumventıng several US customs and trade laws, and you have to lıve ın fear of gettıng locked away - forever.

After some consıderatıon, we bought a .5kg jar of The Honey. The owner advısed us to purchase an avocado and eat ıt wıth The Honey, so we ate ıt on the steps of the lıghthouse before dınner.

Perhaps you, reader, wıll joın us for a small pastry wıth a small (small) dallop of The Honey.

To be contınued - thıngs to do ın Istanbul!

Crete

Crete - historically, home to the Minoan civilization, Daedalus, Icarus, and the Minotaur; presently home to us and a handful of relaxed Greeks.


Our itinerary affords us three nights on the island but that's not enough by a longshot. Our dilemma: the cities, ruins, and natural/geological sights we want to see are spread out along the island (it's a four-hour drive from East to West), we're not rich enough to taxi it everywhere, and we're too strapped for time to rely on the public, intercity, bus system. Our solution: we rented a car.


There she is - our Hyundai - less than $100 for three days with full insurance. Yeah, she's a real beaut'. We named her Kidney Bean, but more recently, we've been calling her K-Bean, or more commonly, Beans.


Boy, it's fun to drive here. No (enforced) speed limits, scenic cliffside drives with huggable turns and switchbacks, and the other drivers politely share the road.


So we spent our first day at the Palace of Knossos, the hub of the Minoan civilization, where we saw the world's first amphitheatre, the world's first paved road, the remains of 3500-year-old frescoes, and the remains of 3500-year-old indoor plumbing, which in its antiquity would still probably function better than parts of present-day Cambodia. We speak from experience.

We walked the beach and ruins of Malia, spent the night in Stalida, then departed for Western Crete the next morning.


Beans got us safely to Rethymnon, a small Venitian city, where we awed ourselves with the most impressive parallel parking - ever (pictured above). The locals who witnessed this feat begged us to pose so they might craft a public monument in our honor; but alas, we only had time to walk the harbor and "old town" and hit the Cretan road.


We reached Chania, the oldest Cretan city, by early afternoon, which is where we'll spend the evening. This city has been pillaged by Turks and Venitians, but both were kind enough to leave harbors, lighthouses, and other monuments in their wake.


We're going to get cleaned up and cause some trouble tonight, since we're splitting town back Eastward tomorrow morning.


Is it Saturday? We think it might be Saturday.


Everyday is Saturday. (Contented sigh).

Eudaimonia

The ancients spent much of their time, their conversations, and their wine trying to define "Eudaimonia," or the good life.

Instead of trying ourselves to define it, we'd just as soon spend our Athenian time living it, with lazy strolls through ruin-strewn parks, climbs to scenic hills, a little bit of museum education, and long meals of umbrella-shaded rickety cafe tables.

The Athens Archaeological Museum sports a massive collection of three millenniums of Greek sculptures and reliefs. Traversing the artifacts in chronological order illustrates the Greek understanding and appreciation of the human form. They begin where the Egyptians left off - stoic figures hesitantly stepping their left foot forward with their arms pressed tightly against their sides. Within half a century, as Greece grew and diversified, the statues relaxed their legs apart, they cast their arms upwards to grasp tridents and bind their hair, and their faces softened into arrogant smiles. All this by 500 B.C.

The acropolis is the most popular Athenian sight - the Parthenon, a temple to Athena, is the most popular structure therein. It's pretty big, sure - but the pediments were the most significant features, and they're tucked away in a museum now. Our favorite acropolis spot is the Erechtheum, the most holy ancient site. Mythology maintains that this is where deities Poseidon and Athena competed to become the patron God of the city. Poseidon struck the ground with the butt of his trident and made a huge gash in the floor; Athena created an olive tree - you can tell by the city's name that she won (and you'd have to agree if you're a fan of kalamata olives or dirty martinis).

From the acropolis, we followed the ancient paths (or what remains of them) down to the ancient theatres, and further downward to the ruins of the Athens agora, once the site of the marketplace, legal buildings, and the corners where Socrates and Aristotle rapped about Eudaimonia.

If you have a little imagination, you'll probably be most impressed with the Temple of Olympian Zeus. The Corinthian columns stand 17m high, but only fifteen of the original 104 still remain (see picture of Sara in previous entry).

We've been privileged enough to sit and journal at these sites (we're sitting on agora rubble as we write in our notebooks) and enjoy the sun - it's a delightful precursor to a late dinner of olives and Baklava (the Mediterranean dessert, not the mountaineering facial accessory).

We did upload the photos for Kilimanjaro and the safari, in case you haven't seen them yet.

Up next: Crete.

Thank Zeus...

We couldn't have visited Athens at a more perfect time - both in the context of our vacation as well as the season of the year.

Greece is a fitting chaser for our double-shot of blistering-hot Middle East desert. They have calm breezes, birdsongs, green grass, wide pedestrian-only boulevards, mixed salads, and mmm-azing olives and feta cheese. Had we visited Athens first, we may not have as fully appreciated the fresh cuisine, temperate climate, and the fact that we're not readily identifiable as foreigners by our skin and features alone. That said, we've designated this city and the next two (on Crete) our actual "Honeymoon" spots.

The evening we arrived from Cairo we spent on foot, visiting the cafe neighborhoods of Thisso and Plaka, bordering the ancient acropolis.

We dined at a traditional restaurant in Plaka and shared our first carafe of wine since leaving the USA (not including the one Rebecca and Sara split in Ha Long Bay). We were finally able to "unwind" in this more familiar, decadent country after our seven-week nomadic bustle through less-familiar cultures involving asceticism, national religious fervor, zen, or precarious authoritarian rule.

We're amidst a much-needed laundry errand - Plusimo is the Greek pronunciation of Washing. Use it well.

Luxor

Luxor stems from the Arabian word for palaces for which the Arabian invaders mistook the plethora of Egyptian temples. The Greeks called it Thebes, but the proper ancient name was Waset.

All this and more we learned from our private tour guides at the Nile-side temples and Valley of the Kings.

In our first 24 hours in Luxor, we hired a car to visit the Temple of Luxor as well as the West Bank, a sprawling desert necropolis containing the Valley of Kings, Valley of Queens, and Valley of Nobles. These burial chambers were carved out well after the pyramids, and are much more descretely situated to thwart tomb robbers.

...In fact, when they opened Tutankhamon's tomb, they had to let the poisonous, stagnant air escape for a whole week before entering - and even after that, Howard Carter and fifty servants died of lungh problems. It sounds one step worse than a road trip with Trevor.

The tourist hassling here is pretty bad; you need to be parmed with patience, humor, and "la shu-kran" - which means "no, thank you" in Arabic.

---

A man siting on a ledge hops down to and begins following you as you walk by...

"You want felucca ride?"
"La, shu-kran."
"Is good price. You want to know how much?"
"La, shu-kran."
"Twenty pounds Egyptian. Good price!"
"La, shu-kran."
(His arms flail, his voice with some anger...)
"Why?! Is good price!"
(You quicken your pace, he stops walking.)
"You lucky man - sex lady! Woof-woof!"

---

Two-out-of-three times, the man will shout: How many camels for your wife?!?

So that's all good for a chuckle, but it's frustrating if you're amidst an intriguing conversation or romantinc Nile sunset stroll, since this occurs every five minutes as men offer taxis, carriage rides, cigarettes, and cold beverages.

Additionally, it's extremely hot here. We don't have the exact figures, but we know it's well over 100 F, and it's sometimes even hot enough to wilt our ambition and make us say "let's just go sit in the shade for a bit." We've each drained over three liters of bottled water per day, and we're still suffering from mild dehydration. It's almost as bad as a St. Louis Summer.

Our favorite Luxor sight is the Karnak Temple complex, the largest Egyptian religious monument, revised over 4000 years by the Egyptians, Macedonians, Greeks, and Coptic Christians (the latter was unfortunately quite destructive). Some of the temple ceiling is still supported by the forest of massive columns that dominated the temple interior, and portions of original paint still adorn the carvings and the blue-with-yellow-asterisk-stars ceiling.


One wall carving (at left) appears quite frequently on the temple's outer facade - the reigning king holding a dozen foreign prisoners by their long hair - with one hand, simultaneously - and beating them ferociously with a club. Oh, and the king is smiling, too. It must have served as an effective welcome mat to neighboring civilizations.

Having viewed all of our target sights we're going to walk the Luxor streets for the remainder of the day until tonight's "sleeper train" to Cairo, and tomorrow's flight to Athens, Greece.

Care to spend a few thousand on last-minute airfare and meet us there? We'd love to have you.

(This is where you say "La, Shu-kran.")

Float like an Egyptian

The ancients mined granite from the southern province of Aswan and floated it northward on the Nile via "feluccas," small sailboats with massive, curved sails. We signed up to sail from Aswan to Luxor (ancient Thebes) up the Nile. The trip includes meals and two nights of sleeping under the starts on the Nile. We weren't sure how many others would accompany us on our trip, what we'd eat, or what sort of service to expect, given the inexpensive price.

We spent our pre-felucca morning in Aswan, visiting the Temple of Philae and the Aswan High Dam, the third largest dam in the world, behind Brazil and China. Egypt only uses the power generated by one of the two turbines - it exports the rest of its power (hope you're taking notes, Mr. Spottiswoode). That's a whole lot of dam electricity!


As it turns out, there were eight passengers on our felucca, ourselves included: three non-native Londoners, two Argentinians, and an Aussie pilot working in Chad. Yeah, these eclectic tour groups all start to sound like the beginning of a joke.

A felucca is more of a floating sofa than a sailboat - instead of benches or tables, there's just a massive mat and pillows, with a canopy to shield you from the 45 C (that's 123 F) degree sun. At times, however, the mat isn't quite massive enough, especially when you're sleeping eight adults. That's our boat at left.


We had a lot of Nile to cover, a deck of cards, and several cases of Egypt's own Sakkara lager. The next day slipped away amidst some Euchre, Kings, camel meat, falafel, and lots of pita bread.

Sorry, it looks like we lost you at camel meat. We passengers were faced with the decision of whether the crew should cook camel for the second (final) supper, and the unanymous decision was "uh, sure." We ate it stewed with rice in its own broth, and it tasted like mutton.


Sara's reaction: Eh, too gamey.
Scott's reaction: Scr-hump-tious!


Packed full with camel and Sakkara, we and the crew prepared a bonfire, broke out the drums, and cut loose to some rip-roaring Egyptian song-and-dance. Another felucca's crew joined in, and we had three generations of Egyptians singing their folk songs with enthusiastic Arabic arm-waves and robe-ruffling kicks. For certain, their performance was as much for their own entertainment as for ours, but it was nonetheless a delightful cultural exchange. Plus, we learned how to sing She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain in Arabic.




The next morning came a little too soon. We disembarked at Kom Ombo (once famous for its massive crocodiles) and explored the Temple of Subek, the Egyptian crocodile god. On the police convoy (the only way for tourists to drive intercity) northward to Luxor (Thebes), we stopped in Edfu to visit the incredibly well-preserved Temple of Horus.


Luxor awaits us now with its expansive desert and its "Valley of the Kings." There's a lot of negative tales of the hassling and frustrations of Luxor, but we'll grit our teeth and smile again, and get back at you with the news.

Sorry for the delay in posting stuff - we really appreciate that you all are keeping abreast with our travels. Congrats on the apartment, Anne & Steve - keep your eyes peeled for a Friedman pad!

Road Trip!

A handful of Cairo's most impressive ancient sights lie a few kilometers outside the city's borders. We decided to hirs a van, blast some of our favorite tunes with the windows down, and pick up all of our friends for a wild Egyptian sightseeing time.




Well, not really - but we did have a van, an Egyptologist guide, and a driver. And it wasn't wild, but it was delightfully educational.


On our exursion, we laid waste to the ancient sites of Dashur, Memphis, Giza, and Saqqara - and by "laid waste," I mean we politely paid entry fees and asked lots of difficult questions.


All of the structures and statues we saw were dated 2750-2540 BC - among the impressive sights:

• The first pyramid (60m tall) at Saqqara composed of six stacked "steps"
• The "bent" pyramid (above, 105m tall) at Dashur, which still has some of its smooth casing. Its angle was altered from 54 degrees to 49 degrees mid-construction due to initial [mis]calculations.
• The "great" pyramid (146m tall)
• The sphinx, whose nose is missing due to either Napoleanic target practice or some malicous Turk
• The best falafils we've had, for less than $0.25. Worth the airfare alone.
• The world's oldest stone-brick building at Saqqara

We concluded our sightseeing with the evening "Sound and Light" show at Giza, a laser and projection show that explains the history and mystery of the pyramids and the sphinx. While it did bear some educational value, the projected face and pompous British accent of the sphinx (our narrator) cheapened the site's mystical ambiance. You can imagine.

We waste no daylight - we spent the night in a sleeper train to Aswan where our Nile felucca (sailboat) departs!

Not Enough Hours in an Egyptian Day...

...So why waste daylight?

We left our hotel at 4:30 AM and headed for the camel stables. By 5:00 AM we were in Giza's desert, each on our own camel, with a little sixteen-year-old kid as our guide. Sixteen-year-olds are great guides because they let you control your own camel when it's your first camelback experience and you're clearly not qualified. So that's highly recommended. Oh, and gentlemen: wear a protective cup.

We watched the desert sunrise illuminate the Giza pyramids while our camels made gurgling and smacking sounds, which was in fact partial regurgitation followed by chewing said vomit. One of us found this repulsive - the other one of us captured it on digital media.

We made it back to our hotel just in time to begin our full-day itinerary.

Cairo

This city moves quickly - and the best way to slow it down is with tea and sheesha (hookah).


Cairo is so happy to see us - to know our name, to know where we live, and to know how we like it here. No, it's not our eager smiles and adorable personalities - it's because we're obviously tourists.



Sure, Cairo wants our money, and it wouldn't mind having yours, too; however, if you walk the crowded sidewalks, less than half of the people asking your name actually want to sell you something - the rest just want to ask how you're enjoying their city, point you in the right direction, practice their English with a brief joke, and continue on their way.

Our hotel, the Hormoheb, is equally - if not overly - friendly. It's kinda like we're the protagonists of The Rocky Horror Picture Show walking into Dr. Frankfurter's castle. Kinda.

The hotel restaurant waiters strongly urge us to return on their shift and the front desk receptionists want descriptive accounts of how we're enjoying every amenity. We also received a brief but very enthusiastic tour of the hotel spa - a 1/3-full swimming pool, a fitness classroom (complete with toilet), and a Turkish bath (read: oily bathtub). The spa attendants insisted we return the next day to attend in a personalized, complementary, fitness class.

We spent the morning at the Egyptian Museum which, like the Louve, houses more artifacts (including King Tut's) than you'd care to see in a day. Our self-guided tour was cursory, but we saw a baker's dozen of mummified royalty, their skin oddly preserved and smeared with red ochre, their eyes selectively replaced with monochrome semi-precious stones and mother-of-pearl, like a doll.

The strangest phenomenon is that the majority of the artifacts, reliefs, jewelry, and paintings were never intended to be seen again by living human eyes - rather, it's all instrumental in enriching the recently deceased's eternal life. If their religion holds any water then we, the observers of the entombed artifacts, may spend post-mortem eternity with our hearts gnashed in the mouth of Ammut "The Devourer," a large and beastly goddess. And Ammut has large teeth.

Although the infrastructure can't support the burgeoning population, there's litter on every corner, and parts of Cairo have the Earth's highest population density, the city has its pride, and above all, its ebullient sense of humor.

...Of Bars and Bargains

The next day was the day of several great battles, all fought nobly by Friedmans on one side and arabic shopowners on the other; all ended with smiles and handshakes, and each team probably covertly high-fived each other afterwards. What matters is that everybody thinks they won - on one hand, we paid a great deal less than expected on certified and authentic products, and concurrently, the shopowners made their profit, else they wouldn't have closed the deal.

Ahh, the lovely smell of commerce in the morning!

So we nabbed our hookah, we snatched our carpets, and we just may have found each other some birthday and first anniversary presents in the Gold Souq. We also consigned a shipping company to fly much of our luggage (mostly carpets and Kilimanjaro equipment) to the MSP airport, so now our two bags (and our backs) are breathing easily. For a short while, at least, we'll be traveling light and luxuriously.

So, time for a relaxing drink in Dubai, right? Wrong.

We've learned that Dubai is much more of a "smoke 'em if you got 'em" city than a "round of beers for my friends" city. People sit at "bars" and drink teas and fruit juices, while sucking down Marlboro Reds. The only place to get a bucket-o-suds is at a hotel bar or at the airport's duty free shops.

We hear Cairo has some distinctive local beers and wine, so until then, it's relaxing by the pool with a plastic bottle of the cleanest, quaffable, tap water we've seen in over a month.

Sold. Wrap it up - we'll take it.